Smile Industry Inc
by Rosamanelle
Summary: There are five things everyone needs to know about Smile Industry Inc., the largest toy-makers in all of Elrios. One: The CEO may or may not be insane. Two: The Heads of each department are very... unique. Three: Plans to usurp the CEO are common but all fail. Four: Snack foods are everywhere. Five: They're changing the world through toys. Business world!AU Rating may change to T
1. Chapter 1

Elsword Sieghart wasn't someone who got nervous. Usually. But when he turned up for his job interview at Smile Industry Inc. - the biggest toy company in all of Elrios - and was immediately surrounded by at least ten security guards clad in black, he got nervous. I mean, he wasn't going to steal anything, he was just there for a job interview! Luckily for him, they were shooed away by a man shortly after. Unluckily, that man was just as terrifying - if not more. His black hair was wild and spiky, a shock of white running through it. Cold, amber eyes flicked over him as he hooked his thumbs in the belt loops of his blue denim jeans. Strangely enough, one hand was mechanical, orange lights glowing and flickering on the black metal, several lethal-looking spikes protruding from it.

"Sorry about that," The man said, casually dusting off his white T-shirt. "These guy's don't know what they're doing. Trainees." He nodded gruffly to the security guards, all whom looked rather disgruntled. "The name's Raven." Raven extended his hand - the non-mechanical one, thankfully - which Elsword tentatively accepted. "I'm the Head of Security. Probably should wear my badge." Elsword nodded, a bead of sweat running down his face as he forced a smile.

"I see... Er, Mr. Raven, do you -"

Raven waved his mechanical arm in a friendly gesture. "Just Raven is fine. And to get to the CEO's office you take the first elevator to level ten. Got it?" Elsword grinned.

"Uh, yes. It's straightforward enough." Awkwardly shuffling past Raven and the security trainees, Elsword pushed past the glass doors, stepping into a rather... colorful lobby, bright splashes of paint of every color covering the walls, a geometric-patterned carpet lining the floor. Odd, exotic plants were crammed into corners, filling the air with a heady mixture of fragrances, the couches and chairs futuristic pieces. Pressing the button on the elevator to go up, Elsword tapped his foot impatiently, an annoying habit he'd picked up from a friend of his. The metallic doors slid open, revealing the crimson interior of the elevator, the panel glowing brightly. Pressing the tenth button, Elsword watched listlessly as the doors slid closed and a catchy pop song blared through the elevator speakers.

Arriving on the tenth floor, Elsword wasn't sure what to expect. Plush animals? Neon doors? _More_ security guards? Instead, he was pleasantly surprised by another, more formal-looking lobby. The walls were painted a tasteful shade of pale green, a soft, white carpet lining the ground. A black desk was pushed off to the side, facing the opposing wall, several stacks of paper and a modern-looking lamp arranged neatly on it. Behind the desk on the farthest wall was a mahogany door, the brass knob shining softly. Seated at the desk was a woman who looked to be no older than twenty, her long blonde hair neatly tied up by a soft, velvety ribbon, two lily shaped clips holding back a few stray hairs. She was busy typing something on a sleek laptop, her green eyes trained on the screen, before shifting over to a white paper, filling something in rapidly. Hearing the door slide open, the woman looked up, smiling brightly.

"Ah, hello! You must be Elsword Sieghart, correct?" Her nameplate simply read 'Secretary.' She tilted her head, letting her hair cascade past her shoulders. "My name's Rena, Miss Eve's secretary and personal bodyguard~! I'll let her know that you're coming in." Pressing a button on her phone, she proceeded to say something in some sort of gibberish. Elsword shuddered. Personal bodyguard? If this 'Eve' had Rena as a bodyguard, why hire Raven and that gaggle of security guards? Beaming brightly, Rena pushed her chair back, beckoning for Elsword to follow her.

"Now, Miss Eve is a rather... ah, unique person, so don't be startled when you first meet her." Elsword grinned good-naturedly.

"I've been surrounded by bodyguards, casually threatened, and constantly pestered since this morning. At this point I don't think anything will phase me." Giggling, Rena pushed open the ebony door, pushing Elsword through.

"Good luck with your interview! I look forwards to working with you in the future~!" Closing the door behind himself, the first thing Elsword saw was snack food. Lots and lots of it. The shelves were filled with bags of potato chips of every flavor, pretzels, hard candies, fruit-flavored gummies, crackers, cookies, and sweets. A basket was overflowing with assorted chocolates, boxes of doughnuts, bubblegum bottles, and packets of marshmallows. The carpet was a bright bubblegum pink, the walls a crisp white with a pale pink flower print. A glass desk sat in the middle of the room, covered in papers haphazardly tossed everywhere and a fluffy, mint-green plush rabbit. Seated behind the desk was a young woman wearing a light tan dress with colorful flowers stitched into the bottom, a dark brown long-sleeved turtleneck shirt underneath it, white, knee-high socks, and yellow heels with cute little bows on the top. Her long silver hair was held back by an elaborate, faux jewel-covered headband, the rest parted in two and tied at the bottoms with what looked like twine. Golden eyes flicked over to Elsword as she picked up a packet of strawberry-flavored Pockey, boredly removing a single stick and biting the tip.

"You're Elsword?"

Elsword nodded. "Yes. I'm here for my job interview. It's a pleasure meeting you."

Eve nodded absently, motioning to a black folding chair that rested in a corner of the room. "Drag that up to my desk, will you?" Raising an eyebrow, Elsword silently picked up the chair, bringing in front of the desk. "So, Elsword. What do you think of toys?"

Clearing his throat, Elsword sat down, folding his hands professionally. "Toys are an opportunity for children to grow while having fun, something to teach them correct morals and live life happily."

Silently eating her Pockey, Eve leaned forwards. "And what do you think about using toys to change the world?"

Elsword smiled weakly, running a hand through his crimson hair. "I think that it would be great."

Giving a satisfied nod, Eve pointed a fresh stick of Pockey at him. "Okay then. You're hired." Blinking in surprise, Elsword gaped at her.

"Wha-? That's it? You're not going to ask about my previous job experiences or anything?" Eve shrugged, carelessly tossing her now empty Pockey packet over her shoulder, grabbing a bar of fudge.

"Why should I care about that? If you can do the job, you can do the job. Oh, you're the new head of Product Safety. Want some fudge?"

Elsword spluttered. "H-Head of Product Safety?! Miss Eve, I was applying for an assistant's job in the Sales Department!" Eve raised an eyebrow disinterestedly, taking a bite of her fudge.

"I needed a new head, and you're the only one we're hiring. Now come, we're taking a tour of the company." Elsword spluttered again.

"Shouldn't you be letting someone else give me a tour?!"

Eve shrugged. "Why get someone to do something I can do?" Picking up her push bunny, Eve marched past Elsword, pushing open the door. "Rena! I'm giving the newbie a tour! You're company CEO for twenty minutes. Got it?" Elsword gaped. How could she simply _hand over _her position to someone for a little under half an hour?

Rena nodded, pressing a button on her phone. "Attention all Smile Industry Inc. employees, I will be your new CEO until eight o'clock. Thank you for your cooperation."

Dragging Elsword out by the arm, Eve hopped into the elevator, pressing the button to go down. "On the ninth floor is the production level." Elsword blinked in confusion. Why the ninth floor? Wasn't that a bit... Dangerous?

As the doors slid open, Elsword was immediately greeted by conveyor belts that crisscrossed across a massive room, machines whirring and humming as strange products, both finished and unfinished, poured into brown cardboard boxes. A man with cerulean eyes was busy yelling orders at the gas-masked workers who scrambled around the freakishly large room. His blond hair was spiky, two longer parts sticking straight up with russet-colored tips like ears, another long ponytail running down his back. He tapped his clipboard impatiently.

"Come on people! We need to hurry up with production! We're already a week behind schedule because you slacked off while I was sick!"

Elsword peered around curiously. Eve strode ahead, casually karate-chopping the startling Pikachu-like blond. He looked back, breaking into a wide grin, his pearly white teeth showing. "Ah, Eve! Good to see you. Showing around the newbie?"

Eve nodded, passing him a small bag of popcorn. "Good work. Elsword, meet Chung, the Head of Production." Chung nodded gracefully, flashing a bright smile.

"Nice to meet you, Elsword! I'd love to chat, but right now I'm busy." From the other side of the room, a man with whitened hair and mismatched mauve eyes came darting over, a thin mauve tattooed line running down one side of his face, waving a grease-covered wrench.

"Miss Eve! You look lovely today! Did I ever tell you that your hair looks like starlight?"

Eve held out the rabbit plush as if to stop the white-haired man's advance. "Minty doesn't want to get dirty." Tossing him a pack of jellybeans that seemed to have appeared from out of nowhere, she turned to Elsword. "This is Add, the Head Mechanic. Say hello." Elsword nodded politely.

"It's nice to meet you, Mr. Add. I hope we get along." Add shot him a dirty glare.

"Don't you dare get to comfy with the beautiful Miss Eve! She's a goddess that's out of your reach!" Eve casually took a bite out of her fudge, poker-faced as usual.

"That's nice. Elsword, we're leaving, there's nothing else for us to do here." Walking past Elsword and the other two men, Chung already yelling as he flung pencils at people, Eve entered the elevator, eating more of her fudge. Elsword tore after her, barely entering the elevator before the doors slid closed.

"The eighth floor is Concept and Design."

As the doors slid open, an oriental girl with warm orange eyes tripped in front of the elevator, sending papers flying everywhere as she fell flat on her face.. The room was full of cubicles, several tables filled with pencils sketches and blueprints. Elsword deadpanned, a bead of sweat rolling down his face as he stared at the fallen woman.

"Hello, my name is Elsword. Are you alright?"

Eve didn't even blink.

"That's Ara, the Head of Concept and Design." She threw a package of peanuts at her, hitting the poor girl on the head. Ara muttered something that sounded suspiciously like 'Hello, it's nice to meet you, and I'm fine,' but the elevator doors slid closed before he could confirm her response.

"Seventh floor is the Sales Department."

Pushing Elsword out of the elevator, Eve casually strode towards the back, finishing her fudge, neatly folding the wrapper and disposing it in a garbage can before pulling out a box of grape juice. Unwrapping the straw, she kicked open a door, causing a purple-haired girl with rather well-curled pigtails to yelp in alarm. "Oh, Eve, it's just you. How can I help you?"

Eve nodded towards Elsword, stabbing her juice box. "Newbie."

The purple-haired girl's violet eyes lit up as she examined Elsword, her white dress-shirt stained with what looked like paint. "So this is the new guy? He'd make a good spokesperson; got the looks and probably the personality to go with it." Turning to a petite girl with bright blue eyes and dark brown hair wearing a blue dress, she winked. "See? This is the aura of a spokesperson. You've got to be doing your best to advertise our toys for the next commercial!" Graciously accepting Eve's box of chocolates, she turned back to Elsword. "I'm Aisha, by the way. Nice to meet you."

Elsword smiled back. "My name is Elsword. It's a pleasure meeting you." Aisha chortled, twisting a pigtail.

"He really _does_ have manners. Lucy! Hurry up and get good at this or I'll kidnap Elsword and have him take your place!" Elsword shuddered, allowing Eve to drag him back to the elevator.

"The sixth floor is Security Headquarters, but Raven's out right now so there's no point in going there. Floor five is the meeting rooms. There's only office cubicles on floor four. On the third floor is the Financial Department."

Elsword beamed. "Ah, my elder sister Elesis is the head of that department." Eve raised an eyebrow.

"Really? I didn't realize Elsie had a brother." Elsword tried not to snicker at the nickname. Taking a calm sip of her juice, the elevator landed on the first floor. "First floor is Product Safety." As the doors slid open, Eve walked down a corridor that Elsword hadn't realized was there before, leading them to a large, spacious area with a sturdy Plexiglas wall separating two areas. The side they were on was filled with chairs and beeping computer monitors, while the other side was heavily padded. The workers looked up to stare at Eve and Elsword as they entered. Eve waved around her now-empty juice box. "This is Elsword, the new Head of your department. You guys can't run around like headless chickens anymore. Be nice to him." Pressing a bag of cotton candy into Elsword's palm, she clapped him on the back harshly. Elsword, not expecting the sudden surge of strength, stumbled forwards. "Good luck."

And then she was gone. Elsword sighed, looking at his new co-workers. "Uh... Hi?"

This was going to be a long year.

* * *

><p>Me: I'm back!<p>

Aisha: This is what, your second released story within a week?

Me: Well, yeah, I'm trying to challenge myself with different writing styles.

Elsword: Isn't this one just your typical comedic story though...?

Me: Eh, I'm going to be approaching several very philosophical themes through a light-hearted tone. Basically it's all about being yourself and helping others and finding what really defines you but in a really wacky toy company.

Eve: And now I have a snack-food obsession.

Me: Well who doesn't like snack foods?

Rena: You're digging your own grave with this!

Me: Maybe I am, maybe I'm not! But hey, while this lasts, let's have fun~

Raven: How much longer are you going to ramble to fill up this author's note?

Me: For a little while longer. I think.

Chung: I think it's working.

Me: So how's life everyone? Make sure you tell me if you like this story!

Ara: I think they will. And my grand debut is me falling on my face -.-

Me: Necessary comedic relief. Now, ROLL THE END CREDITS!

Elsa: Don't forget to R&R!

Add: Follow and favorite if you want.

Me: ZOMG THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I'VE SEEN YOU IN MY AUTHOR'S NOTES LIKE EVER!

Add: ...Okay then?

Raven: *sighs* See you all next chapter.

Me: Love y'all! Chu~


	2. Chapter 2

In all honesty, Elsword adjusted to his new albeit unwanted position quite quickly. All he really had to do was watch as his co-workers carefully prodded and played with the wide variety of children's toys from the safety of the backroom and pray to Lady El that nothing exploded. If something did, then he gave the poor sucker who was testing the product a couple of paid days off, filled out a few injury forms, and then had rather lengthy discussions about exactly _what_ went wrong with Chung and whoever was testing the product and how to improve it. He still wasn't used to having so many subordinates, though.

Sighing, Elsword rubbed his temples, throwing his pen down with a clatter. Lowe, one of the men working under him, raised a silvery eyebrow. "Something bothering you?"

Lowe, despite being no older than Elsword himself, had a head of silver hair, giving him a wise appearance. His eyes were an eerie blood-red, a color similar to Elsword's own crimson orbs. Those piercing red eyes often narrowed into slits, as Lowe had one of the shortest tempers Elsword had ever seen in his life - even shorter than his when he was a young boy. Lowe had been one of the top choices to take over for the former Head of Product Safety, an older man named Noel who decided to become a wandering songwriter. When Eve decided to place Elsword as the Head of the section, Lowe was immediately assigned to be his mentor of sorts, although it was plain to just about anyone that Lowe was decidedly unhappy about Elsword's very existence in the workplace.

Elsword smiled weakly, continuing to rub his temples. There was this insistent headache that decided it didn't want to go away, and it was really hindering his work. "Nah, just a bit of a headache." Smiling as a woman with candy-floss pink hair styled in a neat pixie cut - he's pretty sure her name was Anne - handed him a disposable cup filled with coffee, he turned his attention back to his papers, picking up his pen. "Nothing I can't handle. Say, about that product we tested yesterday, Number 164, the skateboard that doubled as a virtual snakes-and-ladders board... Do you remember if it worked or not?"

Lowe snorted. "It exploded, Elsword. You should at least remember that. You gave Adams a three-day paid leave, remember? How many of those forms have you filled out, anyways?" Glancing at the thick stack of papers, he checked the number at the top right corner of the previous form.

"Around one hundred and sixteen. We haven't finished testing products 100 to 148, so I had to skip ahead a bit." Chewing the inside of his cheek, he checked the clock. "Is it already noon? Damn, time flies quickly." He sighed. "I am _so_ not ready for this..."

The reason being that Eve made routine checks at noon every day, bearing sweets and a mint-colored rabbit, often tailed by Raven or one of the other fifty BILLION security guards out there. Speaking of which...

**BAM!**

Right on the dot, Eve kicked the door open, Minty the rabbit perched on her left shoulder as she rifled through her bag. Today she was wearing a plain white T-shirt, a ski jacket checked with every color of the rainbow (unzipped, of course), a pair of dark red jeans, and black ballet flats. Her long, silvery hair was left down, a bright pink, lopsided bow on her head. Eve had a rather... unique sense of style, and instead of dressing professionally like most company CEOs, Eve preferred to be bright and colorful, claiming that it helped her employees work better. Raising a pale eyebrow, Eve pulled a bottle of gum out of her once white, tea-stained duffle bag, chucking it as hard as she could across the room directly at Elsword's head. Narrowly avoiding a flying bottle to the head, Elsword sent Eve a friendly smile. "Welcome back. Is anything wrong here?" Elsword had learned that it's often better to be blunt with Eve; she had no use for pretty words and would often leave you with metaphoric scathing burns and a severely damaged ego.

Eve shook her head almost childishly, nibbling on a pretzel. "No. You're good for now..." Syrupy golden eyes scanning the room, she zeroed in on his cup of coffee. "Coffee?"

Elsword chuckled, calmly taking a sip from the caffeinated beverage. "Yeah. Something to keep me awake, I guess. What with you pulling me back to work at one yesterday morning."

Eve shrugged. "It's not my fault I needed you to check my newest filing cabinets." Said cabinets were actually incredibly high-tech drones, one white and one black, that would automatically alphabetize any files and organize them according to importance, time restraints, and requests. They also would bite the hand off of anyone who _wasn't_ their mistress who tried to remove any files and didn't have her permission (Elsword inwardly shuddered as he recalled Eve ordering him to stick his hand in and see if they bit it off - he had opted to use a ballistic gel hand instead). Chewing thoughtfully on her pretzel, Eve rummaged through her bag once more, pulling out a neon green slip of paper (She also chucked that at Elsword). "Be in Meeting Room 5 at twelve thirty. The guards'll let you in if you show them that." Patting her stuffed rabbit on the head, Eve turned on her heel and left. Examining the slip of green paper, Elsword read the elegant black font and immediately deadpanned.

In big, black, fancy font, the paper read: _Eve's Loyal Slave #11. Don't you dare be late or I'll feed you to radioactive zombie Glitters._

He huffed. "Why did I choose to go into the toy industry, again...?"

* * *

><p>Getting into the meeting room had been a fuss. He had been confronted almost instantaneously by several men and women, all dressed in bullet proof vests, black slacks, and dark sunglasses, demanding to see his invitation. After he showed them the slip of paper, they began to play escort, pulling out their guns and aiming ahead of them as they rushed him down the corridor.<p>

"Move it! Move it!"

One of them kicked open a random door, startling a group of people from what looked like the Sales Department. "They're friendlies! Don't fire!" She then straightened slightly, her gun still trained on the now pale-faced salesmen and saleswomen. "No one move a muscle."

Another man kicked open another door, scanning the empty room quickly. "Clear!"

Elsword sighed, walking on ahead, ignoring the frantic screaming and radioing of the security guards. Everything in Smile Industry Inc. was melodramatic, from their animated arguments over designs to the way the engineers fixed the machinery. Hell, the way they signed a document was dramatic! Conveniently not hearing the terrified security guard who was yelling for him to keep his head down and run to the room, Elsword turned the shiny brass knob to Meeting Room 5 and stepped into a figurative hell.

Eve had buried herself in a pile of snack foods at one end of the table, her minty bunny propped up carefully by a bag of chips. Add was screaming at Chung for, quote unquote, "flirting with only the most godly woman on Elrios" while Chung yelled, quote unquote, "shut the El up you obsessive computer-freak, I didn't even know she was under that mountain of food". Raven was busy playing on his phone, completely ignoring Aisha who was talking his ear off (Elsword could've sworn that he saw the carbon dioxide level rise every time her mouth moved) and totally tuning out the rest of the chaos. Rena was busy knitting something, a basket of brightly colored yarn beside her - that is, it _should've _been beside her, but Ara tripped over it as he was coming into the room and somehow managed to turn herself into a human-sized ball of fleecy yarn that doubled as the world's biggest knot. His own sister, Elesis, was rolling around in the corner, her usually pale face reddened with laughter as she essentially laughed her ass off at a pale, raven-haired boy with orange-gold eyes (Elsword assumed he was pale from his hands because a pinkish blush covered his entire face up to his neck at this point), presumably because of something he said.

As Elsword took a seat next to Rena - the quietest and least tangled-up member of the current group - a blonde girl with sapphire blue eyes strolled in, her golden hair pulled up into a tight ponytail. Following her was a slightly shorter girl, also with blue eyes and blonde hair, red glasses perched on her nose. As the two of them shut the door, Eve cleared her throat from her pile of snacks. Realizing that nothing was happening, Eve removed a red air horn from her bag, sounding it with no hesitation. Grimacing, Elsword held his head. Just great. Clearing her throat again, Eve addressed the now quiet room.

"Welcome, my most loyal minions. I'm going to quickly introduce you all for the benefit of my newest slave, and just in case you forgot each other." She zeroed in on Rena, her first target. "Rena, Loyal Slave #1. The chest monster." Forcing a light giggle, Rena's eyebrow twitched.

"Oh Eve, you're so funny~" No one missed the silent death threat in her words. Shrugging, Eve moved on.

"Raven, Loyal Slave #2. Obsessed with green-eyed blondes that have big chests."

Raven flexed his armor-plated arm. "Guilty as charged." Ignoring Rena's irritated cry ("Can we _please _stop talking about other people's chests?!") Eve's eyes flicked over to a particular purplenette.

"Aisha, Loyal Slave #3. Magical girl wannabe."

"Hey! You've gotta love Sailor Moon, it's one of the classics!" Rolling her eyes at the violet-haired saleswoman, Eve continued her 'introductions.'

"Chung, Loyal Slave #4. A Pikachu in disguise." Add loudly protested against Chung being higher on Eve's slave list than him. Eve ignored him, stroking the ears of her stuffed rabbit as she popped a piece of chocolate in her mouth.

"Ara, Loyal Slave #5. More clumsy than a blindfolded Ponggo walking backwards." Ara flushed, the unknown raven-haired man laughing at her discomfort.

"Aren, Loyal Slave #6. Has the most obvious crush on a particular redhead I've ever seen in my life." It was Ara's turn to laugh as the raven-haired male, Aren, flushed again, his ears turning a bright red."

"Elesis, Loyal Slave #7. Is the densest person I've met when it comes to love matters." That one Elsword had to agree on. When Elesis was in her final year of high school, a boy asked her out. Her response? 'We're already outside. What more do you want?'

"Add, Loyal Slave #8. ...No comment." Add grinned cockily.

"See? She loves me so much she has nothing to comment on!" Eve sighed.

"Let me revise that. Add, Loyal Slave #8. An outright stalker who's hellbent on getting Minty dirty." Add kept grinning, bouncing in his seat slightly.

"Eve loves me so much she has nothing to comment on~!" Clearing her throat, Eve continued.

"Ariel, Loyal Slave #9. Not much value besides the fact she's one of the only blondes we have." Ariel, the girl with the golden ponytail, pouted.

"Hey! I do lots of foreign promotions!" Beside her, Elesis crowed.

"Not very well, apparently. Foreign sales are the lowest sales overall, Ariel. Try harder!" Ariel colored, rivaling the color of Elesis' hair. Ignoring the mini-spat, Eve locked eyes with the other blonde.

"Luriel, Loyal Slave #10. Blinder than a bat and stutters more than Allegro." Luriel adjusted her glasses, muttering quietly to herself as she fidgeted with the hem of her red skirt.

"Allegro's worse than me..."

Sipping from a juice box that seemingly appeared out of nowhere (A lot of Eve's food appeared magically - Elsword suspected her drones, Moby and Remy, were carrying some of it for her), Eve's golden gaze trailed over to Elsword.

"Elsword, Loyal Slave #11. Only good for blowing things up." Elsword spluttered, nearly falling out of his seat. Well excuse me! He didn't even make things blow up, he just watched them blow up! Clapping her hands, Eve's blank stare swept across the room, taking in the faces of her subordinates. "Thank you for being here. We don't have to feed the zombie Glitters once more."

Elsword wasn't sure if Eve was serious about feeding them to zombie Glitters or not.

Spreading her arms out, she smiled slightly, an unnaturally emotionless smile that was no more than just a curve of her lips. "Welcome to the fifth annual 'Remove all Usurpers' meeting, or the RAU. I look forward to you helping me crush my enemies."

* * *

><p>Me: As of today, May 3rd, I am celebrating my one-year anniversary on Fanfiction dot net!<p>

Elsword: Thank you to everyone who's supported us up until now!

Aisha: We've made a lot of great friends over the internet in many different countries.

Rena: It honestly means a lot to us that you guys even bothered to read/review any of our stories~!

Raven: Writing stories like this has become a major part of our lives, so we hope you can look forward to more great stories in the future.

Eve: Thank you to all the readers, reviewers, followers, and favoriters from all around the world.

Chung: As a one-year anniversary gift, every single one of Rosa's currently ongoing stories will be getting an update!

Ara: This includes: Oh My El, Fairyless: The Story Behind the Magic, and Giga Theorum.

Elesis: Please check them out if you have the time, as well as her one-shots!

Add: And now onto reviewer replies!

Sugarlatte - Thank you very much~! I'm glad you like it ^^ Please continue to support this story!

Blazing - Hey, I never sleep because I'm always reading SOMETHING XD I've got the whole checklist down pat by now :P Thank you for your support!

Ephema-chan - Who doesn't like a little bit of philosophical world-domination through toys? XD I think making Eve crazy was the best decision I've ever made in my entire fanfiction writing career! Yep, it's time to break through the endless wall of high school fluff. YAY FOR FREE KITTENS AND HOT CHOCOLATE! Els IS a LK, but I think he'll suffer from a concussion first XD

HikaNoHana - Thank you for reviewing even if you think you suck at it! Creepy ideas FTW! Please continue to support this story~!

Rinkushido - I've actually never heard of that show, but hey, all ideas become similar after a while, right? Thank you for your compliments~! You can drop the 'miss' though, it's too polite and it makes me feel old even when I'm not XD

Yumi Hades - No worries, Elsword'll be getting the head bashings soon.

Yami - Late readers are always welcome! Oh, did I not put classes? Classes are: LK, DW, WS, RF, CBS, TT, SD, BH, and LP. Add's headbutting everyone that so much as _looks _at Eve at this point, but he'll grow to hate Elsword eventually ^^ *whispers back* When have I never added a bit of pairings? :P

Ruby - Isn't it? I've said this like fifty million times, but welcome back! No worries, I DEFINITELY recognize you :3 The crack will continue for as long as I write! MWA HA HA HA - *chokes*

Natsu Michaelis - Possible romance is always a possibility! (Wait wut?) Thank you very much~!

Me: So, once again, thank you everyone who's supported me up until now!

Elsword: Don't forget to R&R!

Chung: Favorites and follows are always appreciated ^^

Elesis: See you guys next chapter!

Me: Love y'all! Chu~


	3. Chapter 3

Eve slammed a thick pile of papers onto the conference table, carelessly pushing off some of the snack foods onto the floor. "Alright," she said, brushing a stray strand of silver hair out of her eyes. "The first thing to do is screen out possible bad guys. Some key suspects have already been labelled as such and have been marked."

Elsword raised a hand.

Eve sighed. "Yes, Elsword?"

"Is that why there are a lot of people walking around with the word 'evil' taped to their backs?"

The silver-haired woman's mouth fell open. Sucking in an excited breath, she pointed at Elsword, her eyes bright with excitement. "That's right! Loyal Slaves 1 to 10, you guys should be more observant!" Flipping her hair, Eve rubbed her chin thoughtfully. "Maybe you'll be more useful than I thought..." Clearing her throat, Eve continued, handing out a package of paper to each person. "What I'm giving you is the basic profiles of these enemies. I need you to complete your tasks after they are assigned to you to swear your undying loyalty to me."

Opening up the package, Elsword was immediately greeted with the face of a large man with sandy-looking hair and a large scar. The man was scowling in the photo, but Elsword could see that his one visible blue eye shone with untold laughter.

"The first person is Banthus, a man who works in the Production department. Chunggie, he's your responsibility." Ignoring Add's growled protest against the nickname, Eve continued. "Banthus is usually seen outside of work drinking. So, what you're going to do is offer to take him drinking, and when he passes out..." Eve's eyes twinkled with mischief. Rummaging through her bag, Eve pulled out a black marker and threw it at Chung. "...You're going to draw on his face!"

The other members of the RAU clapped slowly as Eve looked very proud of herself for coming up with such an idea. Elsword was dumbfounded. Leaning over to Rena, he whispered to her quietly. "Does Eve normally think of things like this?" Rena snorted.

"Please. This week isn't so much for 'removing usurpers' as it is a chance for Eve to be childish."

Flipping the page dramatically, Eve revealed a picture of a busty woman with bright pink hair and chocolate-colored skin. "Next is Chloe. Rena, this one's yours, okay?" This time Eve pulled out a massive bouquet of flowers. "Chloe is allergic to pollen. Rena, you're going to give her these flowers in front of all her co-workers and say that Edan asked you to give them to her!"

Raven spluttered. "Why Edan?! Did my cousin do anything to you?"

Eve shook her head. "Nope. But Chloe has the biggest crush on Edan, so she wouldn't _dare _refuse them! And then she'll suffer from clogged sinuses until the flowers die!"

Aren raised a sleek eyebrow. Elsword tried to pretend to not notice how close he and Elesis were sitting. "So then why does Rena have to announce that they were from Edan publicly?"

Eve sniffed. "Edan insulted Minty by saying that she was a bunny. Minty's a rabbit! RABBIT!" Ignoring both Add and Raven (who were respectively shouting "I'LL KILL THE FOOL WHO INSULTED MISS EVE!" and "SO HE DID DO SOMETHING TO YOU!"), Eve carefully passed Rena the slightly crumpled looking bouquet of flowers. The next page in the book was of a man with frost-blue hair and jet black eyes. "This man is Berthe. He works in the Financial department, so Aren and Elsie will be working together."

Cue the blushing like school children.

Beside Rena, Ara guffawed so much that she fell off of her seat, crashing to the floor in a tangle of raven hair and colorful string. Rena sighed. "I'm never going to get this blanket done if Ara keeps tripping over it..."

"W-Why is it that we have to work together?"

Eve nodded solemnly. "You see, Berthe has developed a crush on Aren."

...

"WHAT?!"

Eve coughed. "Sorry, I meant to say Elsie. Slip of tongue."

From the other side of the table, a now very pale-faced Aren let out a breath of relief. An even more pale-faced Elesis stared blankly ahead.

"Because of Aren's very obvious affection towards Elsie and vice-versa -"

"WE DO _NOT_ LIKE EACH OTHER!"

"- you two are going to act all lovey-dovey together!"

Elsword could've sworn Elesis was the same color as her hair. Aren wasn't too far behind in terms of color.

Nodding to herself, Eve rummaged through her bag and pulled out a pair of couple rings. Handing them to the nearly-passed-out-from-embarrassment Aren, a small smirk crossed her face. "You two are both in the Financial department too, so there shouldn't be any issues!"

Eye glued to the table, Aren mumbled quietly. "Can I call in sick next week?"

Elesis nodded, an identical expression on her face. "I'm calling in the week after that. Let's alternate, okay?"

Eve threw a bag of chips at them. "Sorry, no can do! Moving on..."

Over the course of the next half-hour, it was decided that Avalanche was going to sit on a whoopee-cushion planted by Raven, Speka was going to be chased around by a plastic snake attached to a string (put on her bag via Aisha), Glaive was going to be dragged into Ara's usual clumsy chaos, Wally was going to be confused by Ariel and Luriel switching names every ten minutes, Karis was going to be pelted by spitballs courtesy of Add (who readily agreed after ten full minutes of complaining about how unsanitary spitballs were), and Victor was to have crushed Alka-Seltzer put in his coffee instead of creamer by Elsword.

Why was it that Elsword ended up with the most terrifying person in the lot?

Eve then closed the meeting by threatening to feed everyone to zombie Glitters again if they didn't succeed and proceeded to throw them all out of the room.

Literally.

"Damn Eve is strong..."

* * *

><p>Nervously approaching the coffee stand with a formerly-empty creamer container that was now filled with crushed Alka-Seltzer, Elsword started to make himself... well, coffee. Soon, Victor approached the table, beginning to make himself a drink. At the exact time Eve's basic profile said he would.<p>

Wow. Eve's profiles were pretty damn accurate.

Smiling politely, Elsword held out his Alka-Seltzer filled container. "Would you like some creamer?"

Oh if looks could kill.

Wait, no, if looks could kill Elsword would've been murdered fifty times over.

Gruffly nodding, Victor took the container, shaking some of the white powder into his drink. The effect was immediate. A thick foam of brownish-white bubbles hissed and fizzed to the surface, spilling over the side of the ceramic mug and onto the station. Wide-eyed, Victor immediately stopped shaking the 'creamer' and tried to salvage his coffee, sloshing more of the foam over the side.

"Hey, what the hell did you put in the creamer?"

Huh?

Victor could've sworn someone was standing there before.

* * *

><p>In the Sales department, a purple-haired girl with a black witch hat on her petite head ran around screaming. Her co-workers ignored her in favor of doing more work. Behind the screaming girl, a thick, mottled snake slithered after her, hell-bent on catching the girl and biting her.<p>

What the purple-haired girl, Speka, didn't know was that the snake trying to eat her was fake. The big, 100% plastic snake was attached to a piece of fishing wire, which was in turn attached to the handle of her leather bag.

Another girl with purple hair sighed as she glanced at her watch. Shaking her head, her curly purple pigtails bounced up and down. "You'd think she'd realize it's a fake after running from it for ten minutes..."

Apparently not.

Aisha just hoped Eve was satisfied with this 'subduing.' Sighing once more, Aisha stood up, walking over to the terrified purplenette to relieve her of her plastic-y companion.

_- Several whoopee-cushions, irritated sinuses, chaotic clumsiness, awkward attempts to be lovey-dovey, mixed-up names, and drinking parties that result in new temporary tattoos later... -_

Elsword walked into the main lobby after his lunch break with Raven. The two of them had decided to eat out together as Raven was having some... issues with everyone's favorite busty green-eyed blonde. Someone had just entered the elevator, two fluffy teacup Pomeranians following him. The first dog, a white one, barked cheerfully upon seeing the two men. It was soon joined by its fluffy black companion, the two of them rushing out of the elevator just as the doors closed.

It was then that both Raven and Elsword realized the dogs were on a leash.

"OH MY EL STOP THAT ELEVATOR!"

Still barking happily, the dogs wagged their tails cheerfully.

And then they slid backwards on the floor. Hitting the elevator doors, the dogs slid upwards slowly - STILL happy, mind you. In a mad dash, both Elsword and Raven ran for the elevator, doing the first thing admittedly little collective intelligence could think of doing - grabbing the dogs.

Neither realized nor remembered that instead of having an epic showdown with the elevator to see who was stronger, one of them could've grabbed the pair of scissors that was lying on a glass-topped coffee table and cut the leashes or they could've used the emergency elevator stop.

But they were too busy fighting the elevator to do that.

The white dog yipped happily, licking Elsword's nose. Elsword gave it the evil eye. "Stupid dogs not staying in the stupid elevator."

Raven glanced at him, one eyebrow raised, straining against the force of the elevator. "Are you really talking to a _dog_?" Before Elsword could reply, both leashes snapped with a crack of heavy fibres ripping.

Needless to say, both Raven and Elsword went flying and successfully crashed to the ground. Two no-longer-happy dogs followed.

Eve walked in, Minty clutched in one hand

_And a partridge in a pear treeeeeeeee~!_

Staring at the two blankly, Eve immediately zeroed in on the dogs. "Can I keep them?"

What.

Standing up, Raven brushed himself off as he picked up the two dogs by the scruff of their necks. "Sure, why not?"

WHAT.

Squealing girlishly, Eve scooped up the two dogs. "I'm going to name you" she held up the white dog in her left hand "Poochy Smoochums and you" this time she held up the black dog in her right "will be Fluffykins Puppycake."

WHAT?!

Elsword gaped, standing up. "Miss Eve, I don't think that you should-"

Eve stared at him. "Elsword, I'm just kidding." Elsword let out a sigh of relief, running a hand through his crimson locks. "Good. So you're going to return them to -"

Cutting Elsword off again, Eve stroked the dogs lovingly. "The white one will be Fluffykins Puppycake and the black one will be Poochy Smoochums."

Raven shrugged again. "At least you're true to yourself."

Eve then took them to the vet, figured out their genders, and decided to name the white dog Oberon and the black dog Ophelia. The original owner was never heard from or seen again.

Elsword was just glad the dogs weren't really named Poochy Smoochums and Fluffykins Puppycake.

* * *

><p>Me: Now we're really gonna get into the meat of the matter!<p>

Eve: Instead of writing about how insane I am, should you not be studying for your math exam?

Me: I still have tonight to study... Plus it's MATH. How do you study for math?

Aisha: There are plenty of ways! You could-

Me: *ignores her* My family is downstairs watching Frozen without me. I feel so betrayed.

Elesis: LET IT GO! LET IT GO! CAN'T HOLD IT BACK ANYMORE!

Me: Shut the El up, Elsie.

Chung: If you guys want to see how the rest of Eve's pranks went, Rosa might consider putting up a omake with the rest of them in it! Just let her know you want one, okay?

Elesis: LET HER KNOW! LET HER KNOW! SHE WON'T WRITE IT OTHERWISE!

Me: SHUT UP ELSIE! Now, onto REVIEWER REPLIES!

Yami - Because we all need our daily does of douchey Raven! XD Eve's only getting more insane and will definitely continue to escalate in the near future. Thank you~!

Ruby - Eve's just brilliant, isn't she? I haven't gotten into her more interesting antics yet, either XD Add IS adopted and Elsword DOES have cruddy luck! Plus a Corpse Party parody done by Ruby-sama? *dies of excitement* If you ever do pick that project up, I'm definitely gonna read! Because Kizami Add would be amazing.

Random Person (Guest) - Thank you very much! I'm glad you like it! As for pairings, the only officially decided pairing is Elesis x Aren. The rest is all up in the air! And yes, Epic NPCs ARE part of the company. Cue the chaos.

Sugarlatte - I had waaay too much fun coming up with those XD Aww, you're so sweet! Your stories are great, too!

Kat Winn (chpt. 1 & 2) - I know, right? And I'm glad you like the story!

Luigi (chpt. 1 & 2) - I know XD Thank you for your compliments! As for Add being a clean-freak... Well, that'll be coming up too. And the introductions were fun! Have fun in your shadows~

Ryota - Elsword is also the elevator's natural enemy now. I'm glad you like the story! I'm actually surprised no one's done this earlier myself. If political leaders were cute... Well... See the above randomness from Eve.

HikaNoHana - Lateness is still welcome! Eve probably wouldn't want to give up her precious snack food to the so-called-usurpers XD

Me: So there we go!

Rena: ...And how is this supposed to be philosophical?

Me: **SPOILER ALERT! DO NOT READ THIS LINE IF YOU DON'T WANT TO SPOIL SOME OF THE RANDOMNESS! **Eve's got a major in philosophy to pull out and discuss with everyone.

Rena: I see.

Raven: So now are you going to go study?

Me: Lolnope. ROLL THE END CREDITS!

Ara: Don't forget to R&R!

Add: Follow and favorite if you want.

Elsword: See you all next chapter!

Me: Love y'all! Chu~


	4. Chapter 4

Elsword groaned, his face meeting his desk. Anne hovered over him worriedly, a cup of coffee in hand. "Elsword? Are you alright?"

No, he was not alright.

He had been woken up at five every morning for the past week by Eve who was supposedly checking to 'see how his work was going.' In reality she called for a whole bunch of odd favors that she wanted him to do (Like the time she asked him to go buy her a bar of chocolate and a new toothbrush, or when she asked him to test out her staircase - if you were wondering it broke as soon as Elsword went up the first step).

Not only that, but now Eve wasn't just coming around by noon for her daily checks. Now she had random spot-checks to, crashing through the door with Minty in one hand and the leashes for Oberon and Ophelia in the other. Every time she visited, she'd -

**Bang!**

Speak of the devil.

Dogs and rabbits in tow, Eve nodded slightly to Elsword. Starting her daily patrol, Eve bent down and unleashed the two dogs. "Oberon, Ophelia, if you find anything suspicious bring it to my attention immediately."

Elsword groaned again.

Not this.

You see, Eve decided that her dogs were more like security dogs instead of pets, and brought them to every inspection she did. They sniffed around, made messes, and generally got in everyone's way, but as soon as they made even the smallest of whimpers Eve would be by their side. Once Eve was with her dogs, she would literally tear down walls until she deemed it safe.

He'd seen it happen once.

She also had Adams checked for bombs once because Oberon barked in an attempt to get his food.

Strolling up to Elsword, she pulled out a chair and sat next to him. "Anything bad happening lately?"

Elsword shook his head, running a hand through his red hair. "Not really. Unless you count all of those early mornings. Ah - a lot of the prototypes for the gun that fires teddy bears aren't working properly. Are you sure it's a good idea to even make them?" Yes. Guns that fired teddy bears. Since that's apparently what every child wanted for Christmas.

Eve shrugged, fiddling with her braided silver hair as she leaned back in her seat. "If you want the rainbow, you have to put up with the rain."

Elsword very nearly gaped at this, looking at Eve with a newfound respect. "Wow… That was actually something pretty meaningful to s – "

"– Honestly I really want to make a gun that fires teddy bears, though. How cool would that be?!"

Of course.

Eve would never do something if it wasn't totally outrageous and/or over-the-top. It's not like he could complain though, since every single idea that Eve had brought to the platter had become an overnight hit, successfully keeping Smile Industry Inc. as the top toy manufacturer.

Actually, now that Elsword thought about it, the company was kind of like a cult – once you got sucked in, you could never get out.

Oh dang, was he really thinking things like that?

Turning absently in her chair, Eve pulled out a bottle of gum from her bag. Where she found gum in bottles Elsword would never know.

"This is for you. Keep up the good work." Accepting the bottle semi-gratefully, Elsword sighed when he saw a familiar slip of lime-green paper taped sloppily to the side. This time it read:

_Loyal Slave #11 (a.k.a. Elsword Sieghart)_

_There is a mandatory meeting for the RAU at 6:30 PM today in Conference Room 2. Fail to show up and you will be thoroughly disinfected by Add before being beheaded. Present this gum bottle to security upon arrival. _

_Thank you for your cooperation._

At least she was getting more polite.

* * *

><p>Walking down the hall to the conference rooms, Elsword practically shoved the gum bottle in the face of the security guards dressed in full bullet-proof gear. Completely ignoring the usual 'CIA routine,' Elsword opened the door to Conference Room 2 (They renamed them from Meeting Rooms to Conference Rooms after Eve decided they needed to be more professional), stepping into the usual chaos that greeted him.<p>

Today, Aisha was re-curling her pigtails. Somehow she managed to get her curling iron plugged into an extension cord that stretched across to the other side of the room, twisting and winding under the chairs and table. While she was curling, she had managed to convince Chung to hold up a mirror for her, his arm almost visibly trembling from the effort he exerted to keep it perfectly straight and level.

Chung, aside from holding the mirror up, was flipping through the pages of a robotic arm manual, squabbling over some of the instructions with Add – he was in a semi-normal state today – as they pointed at the different diagrams, elbowing each other in the ribs every now and then to emphasize their disagreement.

Ariel and Luriel were busy playing rock-paper-scissors, seemingly betting with several small stacks of paperclips and what looked like Luriel's spare glasses. For the most part they were tied, but as soon as Luriel won (she said paper and Ariel said rock) a triumphant grin spread across her face as she snatched back her glasses, saying something in a stuttering way that had to do with the fact that she won.

Beside the blonde duo, Raven sat on his phone yet again. However, this time a fluffy, hand-knitted black scarf rested around his neck, pulled up to nearly cover his nose. Both of his arms were visible, as his freakishly brutal looking armor was resting on the back of the chair. Seated next to him Rena quietly continued to knit – Although Elsword didn't fail to notice the same fluffy black yarn that was in Raven's scarf in her basket.

Ara had tripped over the curling iron's wire, successfully unplugging it and faceplanting simultaneously. She also somehow managed to throw the pen she was carrying at Elesis' lap, causing the redhead to shriek in surprise and clamber backwards towards Aren. Aren spluttered, retreating from the redhead and falling on the ground butt-first as Elesis overtook his chair.

Sitting down beside Rena once more, Elsword scanned the room for Eve, surprised when he couldn't find the silver-haired CEO. "Has Eve not come yet?"

Rena looked up from her knitting, smiling brightly. "Ah, she said she had some paperwork to fill out before coming. But, considering that we've already 'taken care of' her planned targets for this year, it means that this meeting is for –"

The door swung open dramatically as Eve strode in, dragging a shopping cart full of food behind her, Oberon and Ophelia sitting in the seat normally reserved for children. "Hello, my Loyal Slaves. I hope you didn't wait too long for me." Pulling the cart over to her usual seat, Eve pulled down a projector screen, carefully setting up what looked like a slideshow.

"This seems rather professional for Eve…"

Rena giggled, putting down her knitting needles. "Trust me, it's not. Probably the opposite, really."

Pulling out a laser pointer, Eve cleared her throat. "Welcome, members of the RAU. Today we are here to discuss several very important matters: The annual company vacation, the annual company games tournament, and the new advertisement campaign for Smile Industry Inc.'s latest android dolls, Suzy 3.0. First off, the advertisement campaign because that's boring stuff." She took a deep breath, a half-smile forming. "Any suggestions?"

Aisha was the first to raise her hand, a bright smile on her face as she finished curling her pigtail.

"I say we film a commercial were we show evil dolls trying to take over the world with a whole bunch of explosions. Then we can have Suzy 3.0 in a princess dress come in and tame the evil dolls, and we can finish with Suzy 3.0 walking away coolly with a massive explosion in the background. The slogan can be 'explosive play' or something along those lines!"

Add turned to Aisha, an eyebrow raised. "Why a princess dress? Wouldn't that situation call for a super hero outfit?"

Aisha shook her head, freshly curled pigtails bouncing. "You wouldn't understand, Add. Every little girl wants her own princess doll to play with, and what better way to show how amazing a Princess Suzy 3.0 can be by showing her defeating evil dolls in a princess costume?"

Ara leaned forward, her fingers laced under her chin. "My concern is that by putting in a whole bunch of explosions, we'd be promoting the Suzy 3.0 negatively. Maybe they could be soft, fluffy explosions instead of legitimate explosions?"

Ariel pursed her lips, sighing through her nose. "Although your ideas are great, I'm more worried that instead of being seen as amazing or the next big thing, the Suzy 3.0 would be seen as something weird and undesirable."

Aren grinned, tucking a stray strand of semi-short hair behind his ear. "As a wise man once said; 'Be normal and the crowd will accept you. Be strange and you'll lead the crowd."

Eve cleared her throat, pointing her laser pointer at the screen and drawing red circles. "Now that everyone whose name starts with 'A' has spoken, everyone shut up and listen to my decision. We'll start our commercial in the plush toy isle. The Suzy 3.0 will be on one of the shelves in a princes dress. Then evil dolls will start coming in and make all the teddy bears explode - those will be strictly fluffy explosions, by the way - and cause all the pathetic humans in the isle to scream and cower. The Suzy 3.0 will then jump off of her shelf and turn into a superhero, and then she will successfully subdue all the dolls. Our slogan can be 'Being a doll has never been better.' Sounds good?"

Unanimous nods across the room. Plus a slightly baffled Elsword.

Nodding to herself, Eve changed to the next slide, a massive map of Elrios appearing. "Moving on! The annual company vacation!" Several red dots appeared, marking various locations. "The dots represent where the company has already gone. We need to find a new, fun, exciting location that will motivate the employees that are attending and promote our company all at the same time. Any suggestions?"

"How about Feita? I heard their ancient shrines are very beautiful."

"We went there once."

"Velder's Hope Bridge?"

"Too serious."

"We haven't been to Bethma's mines yet..."

"Too hot."

"Perhaps Sander? Their markets are really big!"

"Even hotter!"

"Wally's castle in Elder!"

"Too dusty. And Wally's an old fart."

"We could go to Fahrmaan, the tree flowers should be blooming around this time of year."

"Too far."

"What about Hamel? They've got lots of beaches!"

"I don't want to get sand in my swimsuit."

"...What do you think about Ruben? There're lots of children there, and there's this massive festival called the Tree of El Festival coming up in two weeks."

Eve's eyes widened, the chocolate Pockey stick stuck between her lips nearly falling to the ground. "Elsword..." she breathed, her eyes still wide. "You. Are. A. GENIUS! Ruben! Why did I never think of it?! It's settled, then. We're going to Ruben this year!"

Raven cocked his head, a serious gleam in his eye as he stared at Eve. "You just want to go because of the festival, don't you." It wasn't a question, it was a statement. Eve nodded. "And you're not going to give any of us a say in the matter." Eve nodded again, poker-faced. Raven sighed. "Alright."

Changing the slide once more, Eve slammed her hands on the table, causing Elsword to jump up with a start. "And now for possibly the most challenging problem that awaits us... The annual company games tournament. What should we play this year?"

Dear Lady El.

Elsword really wondered why he chose to apply to Smile Industry Inc. sometimes.

* * *

><p>Aloha everybody~! I'm back with a semi-normal-ish-ish chapter of SII for you all (I'm still trying to figure out where I picked up the 'aloha' greeting from, sorry if it gets on your nerves)! I think I've been neglecting this account. Have I? Well, whateves.<p>

First, I've got an announcement for you!

Some of you _may_ have noticed that on my profile my birthdate suddenly jumped from August 13th to April 27th. That is because originally this account was shared by two people but never declared as such. I did all of the story-writing, and my partner-in-crime just read/favorited/followed stories she liked. But, she claimed the profile as her own because the account was originally hers. Now, she got busy and stuff so she couldn't use this account too often, and agreed to let me use it whenever I wanted (before I passed chapters on to her and she updated the stories) BUT I had to at least leave the birthday on the profile the same that way it was still 'hers.' Yes she's weird like that I know. Then she kinda stopped using it, I took over the account full time, blah blah blah, and now she decided that it was OFFICIALLY time to hand over the account to me fully. Which means than now all the notifications and stuff are going into my email inbox, and I can change the birthday. AS for all of those who wished me a happy birthday on the thirteenth, thanks and sorry for not notifying you!

So yeah. Lengthy explanation.

But now onto REVIEWER REPLIES!

Yami Mizumi - Chaos will be chaos. As for Elsa and Aren, I was thinking of maybe doing a little random bonus chapter somewhere along the way? I dunno.

Yami - Aww, shanks! Eve is so much fun to write, I can't stop myself from laughing at her antics XD BUT THEN IF THEY STOPPED BEING IN DENIAL THEN WHO ELSE WOULD FILL OUT THE ROMANTIC TENSION FACTOR? Lol, I did the same thing a couple of times with Fluffykins Puppycake, it was all like 'Fuffykins - no, Puppykins - wait -" XD How can Elsword not be the only sane one?

Palutena - Okay... I found it from a totally different picture, though... Meh *shrugs* it's not like it's the full picture anyways ;)

Ryota - Isn't she? It's fun writing Eve as a childish-yet-emotionless-person :P Call it her child's intuition? THE ORIGINAL OWNER SHALL NEVER BE SEEN AGAIN. UNTIL YOU LOOK BESIDE YOU.

Kat Winn - Math is just meant to kill brain cells. Oh god, I can't do English. Just... no. Thank you!

MJC - Awww, that means so much to me, especially when it comes from such an amazing author like yourself! That's good, I was aiming for an Eve-centric story that didn't have the world revolving around her... That actually made me blush /)/w/(\ Thank you very much!

HikaNoHana - Every company needs a kid in it, right? ...Oh god pedobear Add... I will join you in your brainlessness.

YAY I BE DONE. AND NOW I WILL RUSH OFF TO GO DO MY NEGLECTED SCIENCE HOMEWORK. K BYE.

(Please R&R! And follow/favorite if you want! See you all next chapter!)


	5. Chapter 5

Eve stood silently at the front of the room, an eyebrow raised impassively, looking extremely unamused. "...Care to repeat that, Ariel?"

Said blonde gulped. "I-It was a joke, Miss Eve!" Elsword let out a soft sigh, simultaneously shrinking away from Eve slightly. No one called Eve 'Miss Eve' unless they were _Add_. Someone was about to get it. "S-So, let's just forget a-about it and m-move on, okay?"

And so karaoke was officially banned from the list of events at the annual company games tournament, or the ACGT for short. In case you couldn't tell, Eve really liked her acronyms.

Rubbing her temples, Eve sent the remainder of her 'slaves' a blank stare. "Do we have any _better_, non-singing activities?"

Silence.

(It was more like no one particularly wanted to answer that question, not after she had brutally shot down Ariel's feeble attempt at a joke)

Blinking calmly, Eve proceeded to bang her head against a wall.

Rena cleared her throat. "Eve, please stop banging your head against the wall. We don't want you to lose any brain cells unnecessarily." Eve shot her a petulant frown, returning immediately to banging her head. Rena rolled her eyes and crossed her arms, muttering under her breath. "What a little princess. Brat."

Attempting to alleviate the awkward atmosphere, Ara half-raised her hand. "We could play... um... hide-and-seek?"

Eve stopped banging her head, turning to look at Ara. The black-haired girl swallowed nervously "Hide-and-seek. You want _us_, full grown men and women, to play _hide-and-seek_?"

Squeaking, Ara plastered a strained grin on her face. "...Yes?"

Eve nodded, tossing her hair over her shoulder before rapidly typing something into her computer. "I like the way you're thinking. You can be the first person to be it. But we have to play freeze tag, too."

* * *

><p>An hour and twenty minutes later, Eve had finally settled on the schedule for the games tournament.<p>

It would start off with a round of ice-breakers, mainly games like 'Never-Have-I-Ever' and 'Bang.' After the ice breakers, there would be several rounds of hide-and-seek, immediately followed by piggyback races (Elsword later learned that Eve always demanded to play a game that involved carrying her during the ACGT), tag, and sock wrestling. Then they would move to a laser tag course, and _all_ the games there were to be played or else.

For such a childish girl, Eve was pretty good at creating schedules.

Clapping her hands, Eve waved at them dismissively. "Now minions, be prepared for the company trip; we're leaving tomorrow. Oh, and you might want to tell your own minions that the ACGT is being held a week after our return. Now get out!"

Again, they were physically thrown out of the room.

Wait.

DID SHE JUST SAY THEY WERE LEAVING FOR RUBEN _TOMORROW_?!

Needless to say, there were several unhappy members of the Product Safety Department.

* * *

><p>It took several hours riding the Cobo Express Train to reach Ruben. By the time they got to the town, it was nearing sunset, and several people were very grumpy - particularly Add, who was bothered by how 'germ-y' his seat was, and Elesis, who was crammed into a seat next to a particularly large, sweaty man - and the rest were fairly hungry.<p>

Ruben, which was normally a quiet town, bustled with light and life despite the waning daylight. Villagers tipped their hats to the incoming visitors, hurrying to hang brightly colored banners on trees, several ornaments with small El shards draped across the banners and hung from the doors. Cheery laughter rang through the streets, several children darting past with vivid pinwheels, scattering flower petals behind them. Eve nodded to herself. "It was a good idea to come here. First, we need to check into the hotel, and then we can go eat. Rena, go talk to the hotel managers. Chung, go get something to help carry the bags to the hotel." Again Add protested against Chung doing the heavy work. After all, he was, quote unquote, 'just as manly as Chung, if not manlier!'

Rena quickly smacked Add on the head, quietly chiding him about being rude before skipping along, dragging Chung with her in the general direction of the hotel. Rolling her eyes, Eve turned to Elsword. "You used to live here, right? Arrange for us to have dinner at a nice restaurant."

Before Elsword could reply, a blur of white and dark blue crashed into him, squeaking ecstatically. "Elsword! Elesis! You came back!" Blinking in confusion, Elsword peered down, crimson eyes meeting clear aqua.

"Lu?"

The petite girl bounced wildly, excitement written all over her face as pearly hair flew around, one arm wrapped around Elsword's. "Correct! Well? Did I grow? Did you bring me a gift? Who are those peasants? Is Elesis still masculine? Are you still as sweet as the sweetest rose? How long will you be residing here? Are you staying forever? Do you still love me? Have you decided the wedding date yet? Are you going to worship me this time? Have you decided to be my vassal yet? W-"

Eve cut the girl's incessant questions off immediately, a dangerous look flashing in her amber eyes. Elsword gulped. Suddenly he knew why she was the head of the company. "Girl."

Lu looked at her, slightly taken aback by the cold glare. Recovering immediately, Lu narrowed her eyes, putting her free hand on her hip. "What do you want, wench? I have a name, you know."

Folding her arms, Eve gave Lu a haughty look. "Please refrain from touching _my_ slave. He's off limits." Lu's jaw dropped, looking at Elsword incredulously. "Your... slave?" Elsword shrugged sheepishly.

Wrinkling her nose, Lu pouted. "But Elsword," she whined, stamping a foot. "You _promised _that you would be my vassal!"

Now it was Elsword's turn to look incredulous. "When did I say that!?"

Twiddling her thumbs, Lu looked to the ground bashfully. "Weeeell, you weren't exactly awake when I asked, so I took your silence as a yes!" Elsword gaped. Again. He was beginning to wonder if his face was going to be permanently stuck that way.

Like a fish.

Eve wrapped an arm around Elsword, tugging him out of Lu's grip and pouting childishly. "You can't have him! He's already my slave!" Lu glared at her, but before she could reply Eve cut her off - still clinging to Elsword like a koala, mind you. "The nerve of this child! What makes you think that Elsword would even do as you say?"

Sniffing haughtily, Lu canted a hip sassily. Her blue eyes flashed triumphantly, turning to smirk at Eve. "Because he silently agreed to be my vassal. And he was my vassal before. Why should he agree to be your slave, stupid wench?"

Ignoring Elsword's protests (he was no one's slave, thank you very much. He just happened to get involved with some people with questionable mental stability), Eve allowed a smirk to cross her face. "Because he verbally and consciously agreed to be my slave. So ha."

Lu, frozen, shakily turned to Elsword, who had finally shaken himself from Eve's grasp. "Did you... really... agree... to be her slave...?"

Elsword rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "Well, I _do_ work for her, so..."

Letting out a wail, Lu collapsed to the ground, shrieking things like, "YOU TRAITOR!", "HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?!", "YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE MY VASSAL!", and "DON'T WORRY, MY BELOVED ELSWORD! I WILL SAVE YOU FROM THAT EVIL WENCH'S POISONOUS GRASP!" as fat, salty (crocodile) tears rolled down her cheeks and splashed on the pavement.

Raven coughed awkwardly. "So... are we just chopped liver or what...?" Aren sighed, shaking his head.

"I'm afraid so, Raven. I'm afraid so."

* * *

><p>After Lu - whom Eve nicknamed 'Gate of Darkness Brat' - was ushered away by a dark-haired man named Ciel, Rena and Chung returned with several trolleys. Getting everyone's bags to the hotel was a bit of a hassle, but eventually it was done.<p>

Dinner was a fairly quiet affair, as everyone was tired and ready for sleep. All Elsword really remembered was that Eve had dragged them all into some little cafe-like place on the corner of a street, startling the owners.

They had then headed back to the hotel in a pell-mell manner, shutting themselves up in their rooms to sleep - or, in Ara's case, attempting to, as in her lethargic state, she stumbled over some imaginary fold in the carpet and crashed head-first into a wall, successfully waking her from her drowsy stupor.

Ouch.

That night, Elsword's dreams were filled with screeching and shouting, glimmers of bright light, silver, and blue flashing somewhere in the back of his mind. Something set off shrill warning bells, screaming at him to get up, get up get up get up get up NOW before it's too late GET UP N-

Waking up with a start, Elsword narrowly avoided a bucket of cold water to the face. He glowered at his sister. "Elesis! What on Elrios are you doing?!"

Elesis shrugged. "Company tradition. Except you weren't supposed to wake up." Eve, looking slightly sullen, put away a video camera - wait what?!

"You were going to _dump ice-cold water_ on me and _film_ my reaction?!"

Aisha shook her head, smiling brightly. Was it just him or was the entire RAU in his hotel room? That he was sharing with Raven, no less? (Poor planning on Eve's part. He could practically still hear Add and Chung arguing about - wait, they were in the room too. Never mind.)

"We were going to dump ice-cold water on you, film your reaction, and post it on the internet. You know, company tradition. Can we try this again? Except from a different angle, maybe. And actually having Elsword get drenched would help."

"You guys... You... Why... What... ARGH!"

Needless to say Elsword did NOT have fun sleeping on the floor, as his bed sheets were too wet for him to actually sleep on. Unless he fancied a cold, that is.

* * *

><p>This day was beyond bad. Heck, it was beyond 'worse.'<p>

They might as well call it 'Elsword.'

'Oh,' they'll say, 'Things have just gone from bad to Elsword.'

Fighting off another headache that threatened to escalate into a migraine, Elsword rubbed his temples. Not only did he lack sleep from his unceremonious and rather rude 'awakening' last night, the floor was hard enough to give him several bruises on his hip. His head was throbbing dully from an Add-induced headache - the white-haired man had sprayed him will some sort of disinfectant as soon as he entered the room, screaming about how all germs must die and that he was a carrier for disease - and had, despite his best efforts, been caught up one of Ara's klutzy tizzies as the poor girl bumbled around in an attempt to gather some papers.

Now he was stuck with this.

Eve, standing akimbo, was glaring frostily down at Lu. Lu glared back, equally cold, her hands folded. The sight was rather ridiculous to behold, as Lu was half of Eve's height and under half her age; yet here they were, scowling at each other like they held a vendetta.

He was beginning to wonder where the migraine he was expecting had gone.

Eve was the first to speak. "What do you want, Gate of Darkness Brat?" Her normally expressionless eyes darkened with anger. "Have you come to try and take my Loyal Slave #11 from me? Foolish brat. I'll feed you to the Glitter Zombies if you even _dare _try that again."

Lu scoffed, flipping her niveous hair over her shoulder. "I have a proposition for you, wench. We shall battle for the custody of my beloved Elsword."

Ah, there was that migraine he was looking for. Joy.

The ever-present businesswoman in Eve - however rarely it showed - instantly came out, smelling a golden business opportunity. Her angry features slowly relaxed, once more slipping into blankness. A single eyebrow rose delicately. "And?"

Lu, knowing that Eve's interest was piqued, preened. "We shall elect one champion from our side to represent us in combat; of course, Elsword may not be elected as he is the prize."

"When did I agree to this?"

Ignoring Elsword, Lu continued. "The exact details of the battle will be decided by the two of us. Should my champion be crowned the winner, Elsword will return to my side as my vassal. Forever."

"Lu, I was your babysitter for a grand total of three months. That hardly makes me your vassal."

"Shut up. As I was saying, should your champion win, Elsword will remain your... slave... and you may make use of my champion however you wish for a month of every year for the next four years. Do these conditions agree with you, wench?"

Eve rubbed her chin thoughtfully, although her face was emotionless. The action looked slightly out-of-place, like it was forced. Which could only mean one thing.

"I agree."

Eve had made up her mind the moment Lu had started talking.

"I apologize in advance for monopolizing a month of your slave's time in advance, then, as I will not lose to a brat like you."

Lu chuckled loftily, trying her best to look down at the (significantly) taller Eve. "You'll regret your arrogance once Elsword is mine, wench."

"Again, when did I agree to this?"

Both of them sent a piercing glare in his direction. "Shut up."

Okay then, he was just going to be quiet now.

Chung patted his shoulder awkwardly. "I'm sure everything will be alright... I mean, at least you're drawing Eve's attention away from the rest of us so we can _actually _get some things done?"

Elsword chuckled monotonously, shaking his head. "Was that a question or a statement?"

Chung scratched his head. "A bit of both. Good luck surviving this, Grand Prize."

Elsword spluttered. "Grand Prize?! Is that what I am now?!" Chung just shook his head, eyes shining with mirth, as he walked away to rejoin Ara and Luriel in their attempts to do... something. Elsword really wasn't sure what was going on.

Dramatically holding out her arm, Lu screamed at the top of her lungs. "CIEL! GET OVER HERE NOW, OR I'M DEMOTING YOU FROM 'KNIGHT' TO 'SQUIRE!'" A few moments later, the dark-haired man from before, Ciel appeared on the scene, his hair still damp and looking slightly out of breath. Nodding with satisfaction, Lu poked Ciel in the ribs. "I'm naming Ciel as my champion. What about you, wench?"

Eve nodded, before whistling sharply. "Loyal Slave #1, your presence is required." When nothing happened, Eve had to go over to where her mess of co-workers was situated and physically drag Rena over, who was busy trying to separate Add and Aisha (the latter's hair wasn't symmetrical, much to the white-haired man's dismay. As a result, he began chasing her around with a pair of scissors, demanding to cut her hair into proper symmetrical form) while simultaneously chatting with Raven. Dumping her on the ground in front of Lu and Ciel, Eve nodded lightly to Rena. "I crown Rena as my champion. Happy?"

Lu was silent as she stared at Rena. Rena, who had just finished brushing her clothing off, looked at Lu with slight confusion. "Is something wrong...?"

Lu looked at Rena once more, then down at her chest. "What a chest monster..."

Rena turned bright red with a combination of anger and embarrassment, while Ciel looked absolutely scandalized. Eve nodded sagely. "Isn't she?"

Ciel, upon seeing Lu mentally comparing chest sizes with Rena, quickly screeched out his own opinion. "It's quite alright, Lu! Washboards are the best!"

Elsword slapped his face.

Yep, things have just gone from bad to Elsword alright.

* * *

><p>[AN:]

Happy New Year, everyone! First update of 2015! I really have no idea what to talk about at the moment. WAIT ACTUALLY I DO.

So basically for Lu, instead of writing her as a spoiled brat (which was my original plan), I decided to add in some of her 'royal' aspects too. Which is why she uses words like 'shall', 'wench', and other flowery words, not to mention why Ciel is her Knight and Elsword is maybe her 'vassal'. Yeah.

And since this has become semi-customary, FUNNY-YET-STUPID-STORY TIME! The other day, my friends and I were watching movies together because that's just how we are. There was one absolutely AMAZING movie that we were watching (I'm not going to say the name because in order for you to understand this I have to spoil the ending). Basically it was about a spy who infiltrated a small village in enemy territory and pretends to be the village idiot, and then some of his companions come along, respectively pretending to be an aspiring idol and a high school student. Then stuff happens and THEY ALL DIE IN THE END. Yeah. So the room is full of crying, emotional, teenage girls throwing popcorn at the TV and screaming things like 'WHY DID THE CUTE ONE HAVE TO DIE?!' and stuff like that, when my friend's dad walks in. He takes one look at us (We're all a mess of tears, tissues, and popcorn at this point) and walks straight back out of the room. It was absolutely hilarious!

Moving on, onto REVIEWER REPLIES!

Albertojas - Perhaps your premonitions... WERE ACTUALLY ABOUT LU?! *Eve slapped*

ragna0011 - Not only that, but she's able to handle all of that sugar, too. That's saying something!

Sugarlatte - No worries! I'm glad you reviewed, anyway. Eve is the master of dogs! And the tournament will be chaotic, I can guarantee you that.

Guest - Aww, thank you. I honestly don't know where this one came from, but I can tell you that the vat this crawled out of is filled with other weird stuff, too.

Yami - Eve's surprising backstory will be revealed! Sometime! When I get to it! XD REVEN SHALL LIVE THROUGH SUBTLETY. AND ELEREN SHALL LIVE THROUGH THEIR WEIRD AWKWARDNESS. Don't we all hate school?

AvidMind - Continue to laugh if you want, after all, that's the goal of this story! The tournament... I'm not sure how it's going to play out right now, but it will for sure be chaos. Oh hey, I can see the connection now that you mentioned it! Thank you for your compliments! ^^

RyotaEdge - Thank you! With the double O security team, everything will go smoothly! As for the teddy bear guns... COMING TO STORES NEAR YOU. IN FIVE YEARS. Actually, I think they sell something like that in Japan... Thank you for your compliments! ^^

And that's pretty much all I have to say. So! Please R&R! And follow/favorite if you want! See you all next chapter!


	6. Chapter 6

_SUBYUGHBNWQANBYUSKAWYUISFKAWILWIOagvbkqyagqyagbbweyAGWEYIAFGILNS._

No, that was no someone banging their head on a keyboard. That, ladies and gentlemen, is Elsword's current train of thought.

I'm being completely serious.

_Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why._

From the left of the shell-shocked redhead, Ara poked him gently in the arm. "Wow," she commented, blowing a strand of black hair out of her face. "He's really out of it." Chung waved a hand in front of him. Elsword didn't move. The blond nodded in slightly astounded agreement.

The cause of our favorite Sieghart's current brain-dead condition?

Eve.

Or more specifically, Eve and Lu forcing Rena and Ciel into an ice-melting contest - with _his employment_ on the line. Yes, an ice-melting contest. The objective of the contest was to melt as many pieces as possible within a two-minute timeframe using only your body except your mouth. The person with the least ice in the end is crowned winner.

Again, _waesrdtfuihjawebuyfghnavbilawioulwrabvsuiflbrvuilrkuib._

Elsword sighed, shaking his head mournfully. Idiots. He was surrounded by idiots on all sides.

Lu started screaming at some point, leaping around excitedly as Ciel attempted to melt the ice with his hands. Rena, on the other hand, had the ice pressed up to her burning cheeks as Eve muttered something - probably something very embarrassing - to her quietly. It was hard to tell who was winning through all of the screaming, flailing limbs, and piles of ice, but Elsword would figure out the result of the ongoing battle later. Hopefully.

Aisha quietly guided him away from the ongoing chaos, her hand wrapped firmly around his elbow. "You okay?" Elsword nodded in a dazed manner. Aisha chuckled, patting his arm reassuringly. "Oh, relax. Eve's good at dealing with things like this; she's handled these types of issues before." Her violet eyes lit up with a particular kind of light, and Elsword gulped internally.

Oh no.

That was Aisha's 'release the floodgates' look. He was in for a rough ride.

"Did you know that's how Eve got Ariel and Luriel to come to the company? At first they were freelance reporters - but I still think they were part of the traveling circus! - and she challenged them to a round of curling. Well, she challenged them, but Rena competed. Rena won, of course, and then they were appointed Head of Foreign Affairs and Head Public Relations Officer respectively. But I swear, Rena is some ninja or something! She can literally do everything! Do you want to hear my theory? Of course you do! So, I think Rena's really the only child of some rich, aristocratic snobs that left her with her nanny. This nanny raised her like a mother, but one day the real mother murdered the nanny because she was jealous of how close the two were - oh, the horror! Rena, needing to exact revenge, went and trained like crazy in _everything_ and completely crushed her parents in battle! Then she was discovered by Eve, who employed her for her abilities. But don't even get me started on Eve, she-"

And that was exactly how the majority of the next five hours passed. Aisha had a strong grip, and Elsword was too polite to simply get up and leave.

"-And then Raven said, 'What do you mean, banana?' Ha! He was so clueless!" Aisha laughed, slapping Elsword's knee as she did so. Seeing a golden opportunity, Elsword cleared his throat. Aisha paused just before she launched into another one of her long-winded stories (Thank Lady El). "Yes?"

Elsword smiled quietly. "I'd like to go see the results of Eve and Lu's battle, if you don't mind. Care to accompany me?"

Aisha shook her head, her smile bright as ever. "No, I can't do something like that right now, I'm busy. But thanks for the offer!" _If you were so busy, why did you spend five hours talking to me?_ "Catch you later, El-boy!" And she was gone in a whirlwind of purple. Elsword blinked. _El-boy?_

Making his way back to where the 'main event' was being held, he was just in time to see Lu stomp her feet angrily, tossing her white-silver hair. "No fair! Best 151 out of 152?"

Eve's golden eyes glinted. "Sounds good to me."

Dear Lady El, it was never going to end.

* * *

><p>Several hours later - yes, hours - Eve came on top as the victor. Again.<p>

Lu shrieked, falling to her knees. Small hands balled up into fists, she pounded the ground dramatically. "No! Curse you, wench, and your accursed witchcraft! You'll burn at the stake for your crimes!" Suddenly Lu sat up, hands outstretched to the blue skies. "O, merciful Lady El, remove my soul from this damned body! I have shamed my family by being defeated by this witch -" "Technically I was defeated. By her bodyguard. You two kind of just sat there." "- shut up Ciel. And now I no longer deserve to live! Take me, merciful death, and strangle my soul between your bony hands! Drain my fair body of its light, and leave me but a husk of ash to be swept away by the wind!" At this point Lu was literally crying, rolling around on the grass in exaggerated sorrow and agony.

Elsword sighed. Rena coughed awkwardly. Eve munched on one of her miracle snacks. Ciel looked genuinely worried for his mistress's safety.

"How I wish to die! Tear my wings from my back, and let sweet, sweet death rush over my cold, limp form! O happy dagger, find a new sheath in me! Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou, Romeo?"

And now she was quoting Shakespeare. Great.

"But soft, what light through yonder window breaks? Tis but thy name that is thy enemy! For I ne'er saw true beauty till this night!" Ciel cautiously picked up the flailing girl. Her attentions shifted once more, blue eyes fixated on Eve. "Curse you, witch from beyond the depths of hell! May holy light destroy your decrepit soul and burn the blackest pits of your heart! Burn! Burn at the stake! Die, you fi-"

With a swift chop to the side of Lu's neck, Ciel knocked the flailing, rambling, borderline insane girl. He bowed deeply to Eve in an apologetic manner. "My apologies, Lady Eve. Shall I see you at work next week?"

Eve nodded, finishing the last of her pretzel. "That would be lovely. Thank you, Ciel. And drop the Lady! It makes me sound old."

Ciel bowed once more, whisking away the still-unconscious Lu. Good thing too, otherwise she'd be absolutely frantic and threaten to burn Eve to death again.

Speaking of which, where did Eve go?

"Elsword."

Elsword didn't shriek. Nope. Not at all. You can't prove it.

Turning around to face his silver-haired boss, Elsword smiled cordially. "Yes, Eve?"

Eve chewed her bottom lip thoughtfully. "Should I assign Ciel to your division or Ara's division?" Elsword blinked, completely flabbergasted. She was asking _him_ when she was the freaking _CEO __and founder _of the entire company?!

"You're asking me?!"

Eve nodded, crossing her arms. "You are right. I should put him under Raven's division."

"But he already has a million security guards! You don't need anymore of them! Why do you need so many, anyways?"

"Assassination attempts. And Rena it is. He'll be assistant secretary and coffee runner."

"Eve! That's just -"

"Hey! Elsie! Is that a tray of cookies?!"

And just like that, Eve was gone. With the wind.

No, really. The wind had just stopped blowing all of a sudden and Elsword thought it'd be funny if he - you know what? We're going to forget that that happened.

* * *

><p>'Company work' turned out to just be a big giveaway of free, second-hand toys that Smile Industry Inc. produced and an excuse for everyone to drink. Except for Ara and Rena, the former being prohibited by her brother, claiming that she cut herself one out of three times on cans andor bottles, and the latter having a surprisingly low alcohol tolerance. Like, two sips being her maximum.

Raven, on the other hand, drank his liquor like it was water. Seriously. It both shocked and horrified Elsword as he watched Raven down his, what, twelfth drink? Luriel also had a crazy-high alcohol tolerance. She had already drank as much, if not more, than Raven, and was still going without so much as a flush on her pale face.

Ariel wasn't faring so well. She had collapsed in a giggle-fit sometime between her third and fifth drink, and was still laughing as we speak. Chung flirted with anything that moved, much to Aren's extreme embarrassment (he was the unlucky victim that Chung found and latched onto), and Add thought he was a cat. Aisha was currently waving a feather in front of the white-haired man, laughing heartily as he leapt after it with a high flush on her cheeks. Elesis was nowhere to be seen, probably in the washroom or the nearest body of water, and Eve... well...

"I'm telling you. There's a dinosaur in everyone's head." She was surprisingly coherent, but still very clearly drunk. Eve's pale skin was flushed a bright red, golden eyes fogged over with drink and unfocused. Her hands swung wildly, only the smallest of slurs blurring her voice. "You start... with a dinosaur brain when you're born, and as you grow it turns into a human brain. But!" She paused dramatically, taking another swig of her drink. Elsword cautiously took it away from her. "What you don't know is that the dinosaur brain is already a part of you! And you think like a dinosaur!"

Note to self: When Eve begins to talk about dinosaurs, she is seriously drunk.

Elsword put Eve's drink down. "Eve, how much have you had to drink?"

The silverette shrugged. "Dunno. Enough, I guess. Wait." She scrutinized him with all the intensity of a police officer, her alcoholic breath fanning across his face. "Let me guess; you're a stegosaurus, aren't you!" She gasped as if she had come to an amazing conclusion, leaping back in surprise. "I knew it! You're a herbivore! A stegosaurus! Rena's a brachiosaurus, so you two can be the herbivore crew!" Eve giggled, flopping on her back to gaze up at the stars.

Elsword raised an eyebrow. "Are you alright?"

Eve shook her head, raising a hand above her face. Starlight filtered in between her fingers, dancing across her face like fireflies. It was if she was reaching for the moon, despite it's distance. "I... do not know what I am. I do not know who I am." Her hand dropped, resting her forearm across her eyes. "Who am I? Why am I here? Why do I exist?" A pause. "Do you not think things like this as well?"

Elsword gazed up at the stars, mulling over Eve's question. "...Not really."

Eve chuckled, rolling over to stare up at Elsword. "I do. I do all the time, yet I can still never come to an answer." She sighed. "Humans are strange, strange creatures - we laugh and sing and dance and cry and mourn and read and run and jump and prod and poke and love and hate and fight and _live and die_ all in the span of a few decades, our lives nothing more than small blips in the grand scheme of things. But just why are we here? I find myself thinking that.

"We have no purpose; we simply _exist_. Everything that we do will one day be long forgotten, lost amongst the lives and stories of countless others. Yet I cannot help but think, 'what if there is some greater meaning behind our life? What if... we are not accomplishing what we are meant to do?'" Eve paused to take a breath, sitting up slowly so she could look Elsword in the eye.

"I find myself thinking... what if I am here to make this world a better place for those to come? What if I am here to prevent others from being like me? It is for that very reason why I started Smile Industry Inc. I cannot bear the fact that there are those out there with cold, cold eyes and an empty face, just like my own. If I can lead even one child away from the horrid path that is my own, then would my purpose be fulfilled?"

"Eve..." Elsword breathed out. Eve shook her head, motioning for him to be silent.

"I said that I do not know who I am. That is true, for I still am unsure of my _raison d'être. _However, I can tell you this: I am Eve Nasod, founder and CEO of Smile Industry Inc. Whatever my purpose, whatever my reason, whatever my being, I will make use of what short time I have left on this planet and turn it into something to be loved by all generations to come. So, Elsword Sieghart,"

Elsword's head jerked up at the mention of his name. Red eyes met gold, the alcoholic fog having cleared significantly since the last time she spoke.

"Y-Yes?"

His voice was shaky, unsure of how to respond to Eve's quiet, passionate intensity. She extended a pale hand to him, her golden eyes expectant.

"Will you follow me to the ends of Elrios to make this dream come true?"

His eyes closed briefly, before opening with a renewed sort of steeliness.

"Yes."

As they shook hands, Elsword couldn't help but feel like something terrible would come out of this.

Also, why did it feel like he was selling his soul to the devil?

* * *

><p>[AN:]

Ta-Da! I literally updated a story a day ago, and now I'm back! YES! ON FIRE THIS WEEK! ...Allow me to cough awkwardly and calm myself now.

So. Yes. Eve is a philosophical, more-queen-like-than-usual drunk. And I had something clever and witty planned out for this A/N but I completely forgot it and now I'm struggling for words. Um. Oh! Right! Two announcements: One, this story is undergoing a rating change! Yes, SII will be changed from K+ to T, just because I was looking over my current plot outline and realized it was waaay too dark for little kiddiewinks and I don't want the undercover FF cops to bash me for having the wrong rating.

Secondly, I'm considering switching over reviewer replies to PMs for reviewers with accounts. Thoughts and opinions?

And now, onto REVIEWER REPLIES!

**Risingwind **- I'm glad that you found this story to be so funny! Hopefully you find this chapter just as amusing, too!

**Metria **- Agreed.

**ragna0011 **- Weeeell, when a job is on the line I don't think anyone would be _too_ thrilled :P Thank you so much! I can't guarantee fast updates, but hopefully this will satisfy you for now!

**Yami _- _**DUN DUN DUN DUN. THE EPIC SHOWDOWN BEGINS. Oh my gosh, trying to fit them in somehow was probably the hardest thing I've ever had to do! It was literally just me shoving them in a random place and hoping it all worked out ;-; As for ElsEve... Well... meep.

**MJC **- Because you are! Really, your stories are some of the best I've read on this site. Lu is totally that adorable brat that everyone wants to spoil, even if she already is. Ciel's just succumbed to her charms XD Awww, you're so sweet! Hopefully you enjoy this chapter, too!

And, to keep up with my demanding writing schedule, TIME TO RAPIDLY START SPEWING OUT OME CHAPTERS AND POSSIBLE OTHER STUFF. YESH. So! Don't forget to R&R, follow and favorite if you want, and see you all next chapter!


	7. Chapter 7

Elsword woke up the next morning with a pounding headache and eyes nearly glued shut with sleep. From somewhere off to the left, Raven's deep voice - huskier with sleep - reverberated lowly. "Morning, sleepyhead. You feeling okay?"

Struggling to open his eyes, Elsword hissed at the bright sunshine. "Where...?"

Rolling his shoulders casually, Raven turned back to whatever he was doing - Elsword could kind of make out a cup, but the lights were dim and his head still hurt like hell. "The hotel room. Luriel and I had to carry the lot of you back here. Never drink again, please."

Sitting up as best as he could, Elsword nodded. "Agreed." A pause. "Woah." Half-turning to look at Raven, Elsword pointed to his arm. "My arm isn't moving. Is this normal? This is weird. Why isn't it moving?" Prodding the limb, Elsword started as it swung, as if it weren't attached to his body. "What is this! I can't even feel it!"

Raven rolled his eyes, voice laced with sarcasm. "Oh no, you can't feel your arm. How terrible. Truly horrible. How will you ever live?"

Oh. Right. Raven's strange armor thing numbed his arm to the point where it didn't even feel like his own anymore.

_Oops._

Shrugging, Elsword turned back to his arm. "So, this is what it feels like to not have an arm... Interesting."

Scooping a pillow off of the bed next to Elsword's, Raven threw it at said redhead. Elsword took the full impact with his head, the force sending him flying into the mattress. Commence dramatic death-by-pillow scene. "You're weird. Just... shut up. Please." Elsword stared at him blankly in response, before drawing the blankets up around him.

"Hey! My arm works again! Cool." Now he spent the next five minutes prodding his now-functional arm, marvelling over his sudden control over all of his appendages.

Raven rolled his eyes, turning back to his cup of what Elsword now identified as coffee. "Right. How bad is your hangover?" Elsword shrugged, flopping back on the bed.

"Dunno. I don't think I have one anymore, actually. The pounding in my head's died down."

Raven opened the curtains wider. Elsword recoiled like a cat to water.

"Kidding! Kidding! It's still there! Close the damn curtains!"

Smirking, Raven opened the curtains wider, letting in more sunlight. "What was that? Open the curtains? Okay, if you say so..."

"No you little shit! Close the damn things or I'll gouge out your eyes with safety scissors!"

Blinking in surprise, Raven let the curtains close. "Woah."

Elsword, thoroughly annoyed and grumpy, sat up and frowned at Raven, his eyebrows furrowed. "What." His tone clearly read 'back the fuck up before you get smacked the fuck up', but Raven just shook his head and continued, as if he didn't notice the venom dripping from that one word.

"Nothing. I just saw the family resemblance between you and Elesis."

Elsword snorted, rolling around in the blankets, legs tangling and catching in the soft fabric. "Funny how most people can't see the relationship until one of us gets piss drunk," he muttered, turning himself into a human cocoon as he spoke. Raven just stared at him. Elsword stared back. "What."

Shaking his head bemusedly, Raven took another sip of his coffee. "Nothing. You just look pretty stupid right now."

He paused, staring at the closed curtains. A sort of awkward silence drifted over the two, the kind of silence that falls after a conversation has come to a close and neither party can think of something menial to say. Eventually the silence was broken as Raven turned back to look at Elsword, his voice cordial enough to go straight past polite and slam-dunk straight into rude.

"You know, Aisha took about a million photos of everyone and everything and posted it on SpellBook. The one with you falling out of a tree is the most popular by far." He leaned in slightly, eyes gleaming wickedly. "How did you even get up there in the first place?"

Elsword rolled away like an angry burrito, grunting in response. "Just talented like that."

* * *

><p>Walking down into the hotel lobby, Elsword was surprised to see that half of the executive team was already downstairs and dressed, showing little signs of the massive drinking session they had the night before.<p>

Aisha was the first to greet him. "Elsword! Morning! Ready for today?"

Elsword cocked his head curiously, staring at Aisha. "Ready for what?"

It was Chung's turn to talk now. Elsword shuddered as he vaguely remembered the slew of cheesy pick-up lines the blond had thrown in his general direction ("Did you sit in sugar? Because your ass is sweet." "...I'm going to pretend that never happened.").

"Company vacation! We're going to go out and explore stuff. This festival looks pretty fun and all."

The silver-haired boss came flying out of nowhere, latching onto Elsword and nearly toppling him over. "I call Elsword."

The others groaned.

"What? Why is it bad that she called me? How can you call someone anyways?"

Eve blinked at him, her face way too close to his and blank as ever. "You are the most familiar with this town and its residents, making you the ideal tour guide. We generally try to split up to cover as much ground as possible during promotions, meaning that no one else will be accompanying us for now."

Raven let out a heavy sigh, crossing his arms. "Eve, you're the boss and I'm hired security to protect you. Wouldn't it be better to come with me so I can actually do my job?"

Waving the black-haired man off, Eve brushed a lock of hair behind her ear and released her death grip on Elsword's arm. "Nonsense. Ruben is a peaceful village; there are no threats here. Now, to divide the groups... Where is my Semi-Loyal Slave #12?"

The question was met with matching looks of confusion from all of the executive team, the remaining half having come down with Eve herself.

"...Do you mean Ciel?"

Eve nodded. "Yes. Semi-Loyal Slave #12. Where is he?"

Elsword blanched, staring at Eve. _Is she serious? _"He's probably out bringing Lu around the festival?"

Eve stared at Elsword. Elsword stared back nervously, hand twitching sporadically. Eve's stare, if possible, grew even more blank. Elsword gulped.

Finally, after what felt like hours, Eve tore her gaze away. "Understood. At least there will be even numbers now." Turning back to the rest of the executive team, Eve nodded to herself. "Now for the groupings. Let me see... Raven and Ara, Luriel and Rena, Aisha and Ariel, Aren and Elesis, and Chung and Add."

Her decision was met with numerous protests, namely from Chung and Add, who were already arguing and fighting over why they shouldn't be put in a group together, and Aren and Elesis, both of which had fled to opposite corners of the group, peeking at each other shyly. Eve nodded to herself.

"I think this is quite good; Raven can stop Ara from knocking into anyone and causing problems with his security guard reflexes, Aisha and Ariel can be noisy together, Rena can miraculously convince Luriel to hold a conversation, Chung and Add can stop fighting and work out their problems through a mutual love of machines, and Aren and Elesis can stop dancing around each other and get together. Yes, this is the course that must be taken."

How Eve thought any of that would work was still a mystery.

* * *

><p>Raven rolled his eyes and yanked Ara back by the collar of her shirt for the umpteenth time, stopping her from crashing into a man on a bike. Ara smiled at him sheepishly. "Sorry about that," she said, her eyes little half-moons.<p>

Raven grunted in response. "Watch where you're walking."

Ara nodded. "Right." Turning back to face the busy streets, Ara took a step forward and promptly tripped over a pebble. Raven grabbed her arm once more, righting her. "Sorry," was the meek response.

Sighing, Raven let go of Ara's arm. "Why is it that you can't _walk_ without tripping over something, but you can dance like there's no tomorrow?"

Ara shrugged, smoothing out her shirt where Raven had gripped the fabric hard enough to crumple it. "I don't know. But I stopped dancing a long time ago. You know that, Raven."

Raven pressed his lips in a thin line, lightly shoving Ara out of a woman's way, her arms laden with boxes of all shapes and sizes. "Yeah, but I still remember when you did. I was what, ten when I saw your first recital? You were amazing."

Stopping, Ara turned back to face Raven, her hands on her hips. "Raven, I thought that we agreed to not talk about this."

Raven ignored her, tugging her a little closer and dragging her along as they walked through a particularly crowded street. They were wandering aimlessly at this point, just admiring the sights of the busy festival. "We did, but it really is a damn shame that you don't dance anymore."

Ara shrugged Raven's arm off, staring at a couple of children that darted through the streets carrying bright pinwheels and streamers. "I wasn't ever going to pursue dancing as a profession. I'm doing so much better in concept design, anyway. I don't miss it."

The look in Raven's eyes was almost judgemental. "Are you sure? Ara, I've known you and your brother for fifteen years. You haven't looked as happy since you quit dancing. Yes, your knee was part of the reason you had to leave, but was it really worth it?"

Eyes flashing, Ara restrained herself from backhanding him then and there. "Well, excuse me for not being like you! Sorry, Mr. Taekwondo Man, for not finding work that so seamlessly blends my passions and career into one! Sorry for going and blowing out my knee with a bad landing and not bouncing back like you!"

Ara inhaled sharply, taking in Raven's suddenly stony expression. "Raven, I - I didn't mean it like that. I..."

Shaking his head, Raven turned to look at a colorful banner decorated with a giant, shimmering tree. "No. It's fine. I overstepped my boundaries."

After a slight awkward pause, Ara let out a deep breath. "Let's just... enjoy the rest of the festival, yeah?"

"Yeah."

* * *

><p>Elsword allowed himself to be dragged out by Eve, practically flying past the vibrant stalls and booths, the colors almost burning his eyes at the rate that they flew by. "Eve, where are we going?"<p>

Slowing to a stop, Elsword took in his surroundings. He was in a quiet part of the town, one that wasn't decorated with hundreds of colours and banners. It was mostly empty, small, cozy houses lining the streets on either side. His old neighbourhood.

"Eve, why are we here?"

Eve turned to look at him, her face deadly serious.

"There is something we must discuss."

* * *

><p>[AN:]

First of all, Happy New Year! This is the first official update of the 2016 year, and let's hope that there are many more to come! I just realized the other day that this story is over a year old, but is still in the single-digits in terms of chapters. Oops XD

So! Some more character development for Raven and Ara! And, my favorite line in this entire chapter: Elsword rolled away like an angry burrito (But seriously, that's what it looks like!)

Moving on, REVIEWER REPLIES!

**Ragna0011 - **Sorry about the slow updates! One of my New Year's Resolutions is to be faster with these, so hopefully I can stick to it XD I actually have so much fun writing Lu, so I'm glad that you like how she's written! As for an angel Eve, well, we'll have to see...

**Moka-girl (Chpt. 1) - **Yes, I realize that there shouldn't be an 'I', but it's more personal writing style (author interjection) than anything.

**Yami - **Nothing is confirmed! I'm all over the pairing map right now, so we'll see where my writing takes me XD Literally had to find Romeo and Juliet online and just picked out random things for that part because I couldn't remember any of it at all. Maybe Lu just got Ciel to buy her drinks? I switched to PM for a little bit, but then everything just cluttered up so I was like, 'Nope, we're doing this the old-fashioned way. Yup.' That and I was too lazy to send out all the PMs ^^;

**I can't bear Beary Puns - **Don't worry, KoG did a pretty good job with that in the games :P Yup, that's pretty much the premises. I'd like to think that I'm a cool dinosaur like an Allosaurus, but I'm probably more like a Longisquama tbh -x-

**Risingwind - **Probably the most beautiful train of thought in the world. And I can't be the only one who thinks Eve would make a pretty good Satan, right?

**Albertrojas - **I guess in some ways I would look like that, but at this point nothing can be revealed!

**Jay (Guest) - **Aw, thank you so much! I'm glad you like this story, and sorry for taking so long to update!

**Sugarlatte - **Don't worry about it, you can take as long as you need for reviews! BUT. WAIT A MINUTE. I FORGOT TO REPLY?! OH MY GOD, I AM SO SORRY. HERE, TAKE THESE AS AN APOLOGY! *throws virtual cookies at you as appeasement* I'm glad that you liked the chapter, tho ^^

**Crack-jouchan (Chpt. 1, 3, 5) - **It's hard to hate Eve, even when she's the villain XD Ara can be incredibly chaotic; DON'T GET ON HER BAD SIDE. SHE'LL FALL ALL OVER YOUR PAPERWORK. As for Lu... Children with delusions of grandeur these days. *smh*

Okay! And that wraps up Chapter 7 of SII! I'll start working on the next chapter of OME and a special four-shot I'm writing. So, in order to give me lots of time... Don't forget to R&R, follow and favorite if you want, and see you all next chapter!

| Rosamanelle


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